1. “Every time Paul sneezed, he blew the roof off the bunkhouse.” So they made me sleep outside at camp.
2. “Paul sneezed during class. He was turned into an apple.” And got kicked out of Hogwart’s for it, too!
3. “Paul sneezed. ‘Bollocks,’ he said, ‘I think I have caught a cold.’” Yeah, I can’t add anything to that one. It’s friggin’ perfect.
4. “Paul sneezed two cubes.” Hey, nobody told me not to drink my ice tea through my nose.
5. “Paul sneezed loudly and dabbed his nose with a lace-edged handkerchief.” Okay, it was my grandma’s and we were in church.
6. “Paul sneezed on the Superman comic.” Thus ruining the collector’s value!
7. “Paul sneezed the napkin off the table.” I got nothin’.
8. “Paul sneezed and made faces trying to stop himself from sneezing again and altered his voice which showed some signs of strain.” Emergency hernia surgery immediately followed.
If you have no idea what you just read, try this. "Google" your first name with any verb like "jumped" or "slapped" and read the subtext following the initial headline.