Fun with "Sneezed."

Okay, the random verb is "sneezed." I may never forgive Nik for introducing me to this damn game.

1. “Every time Paul sneezed, he blew the roof off the bunkhouse.” So they made me sleep outside at camp.

2. “Paul sneezed during class. He was turned into an apple.” And got kicked out of Hogwart’s for it, too!

3. “Paul sneezed. ‘Bollocks,’ he said, ‘I think I have caught a cold.’” Yeah, I can’t add anything to that one. It’s friggin’ perfect.

4. “Paul sneezed two cubes.” Hey, nobody told me not to drink my ice tea through my nose.

5. “Paul sneezed loudly and dabbed his nose with a lace-edged handkerchief.” Okay, it was my grandma’s and we were in church.

6. “Paul sneezed on the Superman comic.” Thus ruining the collector’s value!

7. “Paul sneezed the napkin off the table.” I got nothin’.

8. “Paul sneezed and made faces trying to stop himself from sneezing again and altered his voice which showed some signs of strain.” Emergency hernia surgery immediately followed.

If you have no idea what you just read, try this. "Google" your first name with any verb like "jumped" or "slapped" and read the subtext following the initial headline.

Three Minutes with the Inkslinger

For sometime now, Bill "The Inkslinger" Wilkison has been posting "three minute interviews" with various artists in the field of comics. Now, you're not gonna find these folks listed in the credits of the everyday garden variety comic books you find at your local newstand (do they even have comics at your local newstand anymore?). No, these folks are on a path all their own and all of them are extraordinarily-talented individuals, so it seemed only right to interview the interviewer.

But who is Bill Wilkison? Aside from being the force behind his three-issue comic book series featuring the Amazing Walter, Bill is an artist who knows no limits. I've only known Bill a few years, but it somehow seems longer. You can interpret that however you want, but I credit it to his love of the game of life. Bill has used Sharpies for so many years he should suffer a permanent contact buzz and he's the only guy I've ever met who gave himself his own nickname and it stuck.

Paul Schultz: Bill, you've managed to find a common thread among artists across the board that Dr. Seuss had a big influence on them growing up and that influence continues today. What influence has Dr. Seuss had on your life, work or art?

Inkslinger: He taught me to loosen up. In art and in life. The stories are really all about not being so uptight...about discovery...about taking risks and letting yourself be transformed. This is how you should treat your art as well...no matter what boundaries you think exist, no matter what limitations or expectations you put on yourself, there is always something else in store.

PS: I guess the guy who invented the question should have the best answer. Hey, Bill, art is interpretive. What is this?

Inkslinger: I made this game up, so I'm allowed two answers. At first I thought it was an olive in shadow, but I know this is because I finally broke down yesterday and bought 10 very expensive Olives stuffed with sun-dried tomatoes. But anyone can clearly see that this is the nose and mouth of Boo-boo Bear from the Yogi cartoons.

PS: What's your favorite "secret shame" movie?

Inkslinger: Milk Money starring Melanie Griffith. (In fact all of my "secret shames" invlove Melanie Griffith.)

My Son the Artist

My six-year-old son Ayden drew this the other day and posted it on the 'fridge. I just had to share it.

Meme Alert!

My buddy Nik was right in his latest blog entry when he said: " I think memes exist solely to give bloggers things to post." And in keeping with that declaration, Here's his latest meme, followed by mine:

1. FIRST NAME: Paul
2. WERE YOU NAMER AFTER ANYONE?: Uh, I'm pretty sure a baby in the hospital was named before me.
3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY?: Watching "Benchwarmers." I laughed so hard I cried.
4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Yep.
5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Smoked turkey
6. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?: Yep.
7. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?: Probably not as I can be pretty caustic & intimidating (or so I'm told).
8. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL?: Only online.
9. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?: See #7
10. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?: Yep
11. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?: Maybe ten years ago.
12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?: Lucky Charms though I seldom eat cereal
13. YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?: Not usually.
14. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?: Stronger than I give myself credit for, I'm told.
15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?: Never touch the stuff.
16. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?: Whether they look me in the eye or not. It says a lot.
17. RED OR PINK?: Pink.
18. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF?: Weird question. Who doesn't like something they like about themself?
19. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?: If you know me, you know that answer.
20. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?: If I sad "No," that'd be just plain rude.
21.WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?: Jeans, no shoes (see #13).
22. THE LAST THING YOU ATE?: A beef chimichanga.
23. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?: Well, "Golden Girls" is on in the background...
24. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?: Ultraviolet
25. FAVORITE SMELL?: The laundromat on the way to work on Sunday mornings.
26. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?: My wife's aunt.
27. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH?: I hate sports.
28. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?: Technically, I vamped this meme from Nik's blog and he's a'ight.
29. FAVORITE DRINK?: Non-alcoholic: lemonade; alcoholic: Johnny Red on the rocks.
30. HAIR COLOR?: Brown(ish) .
31. COLOR OF EYES?: Brown(ish).
32. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?: No.
33. FAVORITE FOOD?: Burritos or egg rolls.
34. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING?: Who doesn't like a happy ending?!
35. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?: "V for Vindetta." It was awesome.
36. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?: Mostly green leaves with tucans all over it.
37. SUMMER OR WINTER?: Winter.
38. HUGS OR KISSES?: Kisses. Hugs have almonds in 'em and I'm not a fan of almonds.
39. FAVORITE DESSERT?: Black coffee.
40. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?: Slowy.
41. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?: Zombie Boy.
42. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?: "All the Pretty Horses" by Cormac MacCarty.
43. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?: Looks like a jelly stain..
44. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?: The first six episodes of "Weeds." They were pretty good.
45. FAVORITE SOUNDS?: My kids laughing.
46. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?: Paint it black, you devils!
47. THE FURTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?: Vegas, baby.
48. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?: I can work and talk at the same time. Turns out a lot of people can't.
49. WHEN WERE YOU BORN?: Exactly seven years to the day before Jenna Jameson.
50. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?: In a hospital.
51. WHO WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO MEET?: God & He knows why.

And that's pretty much me in 51 questions.

Busy Weekend!

It was a busy weekend! First there was my twenty-year high school reunion. It was actually two reunions in one as a good number of people that I graduated high school with I'd also graduated elementary school with. I think my entire elementary school student body was around three hundred and my high school graduating class was over three hundred. Big change. In a way, seeing some of the old grade school kids was more special. But that's not to say it was great seeing some of my old high school chums, some of whom I literally haven't seen since graduation twenty years ago.

Then there was Wizard World, Chicago. I didn't set up with Nik this year. I've got a love/hate relationship with this show. It's a great convnetion to buy stuff, but they treat us small press guys like leppers when they should be kissing our feet. Artist Alley, the home of small pressers and day-jobbers like myself help keep the show afloat. Some of the finest books you'll ever read can be found in Artist Alley. We put everything we've got into our work and it shows. I'll have reviews soon, I've just a lot more of 'em to read.

I got a lot of really cool stuff, including an autographed picture of Joyce Dewitt, the nicest celebrity I've ever met. My wife Barbi and I met her last year at the Motor City Comicon. It was great seeing her again.

I got to reconnect with a few very talented friends of mine like Ryan "Sarge" Sargeant, Mike Indovina (a fellow OTF conspirator) and Rafael Navarro.

This year the costume themes were (as usual) Storm Troopers & pirates, but I was totally blown away by the girl in the Power Girl outfit. Who the hell dresses up like Power Girl?! I was told by Nik that she's also been known to dress up as Poison Ivy and Shanna the She-Devil. She told me she liked to portray the more obscure characters.

Totally commited. That's how I'd describe the boys at the Ape Entertainment booth, particularly Ben Lichius, co-creator of The Black Coat, A Call to Arms. These guys rock and I wish them every bit of success. Ben was cool enough to do this sketch card of the Black Coat for me and signed it to my good friend Billy, the only guy I know who enjoys the series even more than me!












One of my missions whenever I go to a convention, be it Wizard World or a glorified fleamarket, is to hunt down cheap comics from the 1970s, particularly those drawn/written by Jack "The King" Kirby. Marvel Comics in particular hold particular interest to me due to the characters and the grandeur of their scope and the dynamics of their action. That's not to sell short Kirby's New Gods or Demon, but Kirby's work for Marvel just bursts from the page. The best part about collecting Kirby comics is I could spend my whole life collecting them for a buck a piece and never run out of books. The guy drew dozens of titles and did hundreds of issues of them in some cases. As a burgeoning comic book artist, I can't comprehend doing that big of a body of work!

I talked with Rafael about the artist's role as "director of photography" in a comic book. We'd both agreed that Darwyn Cooke is a master of this philosophy. It's more than just moving a story along, it's dropping the ready smack dab in the middle of a bloody frey. It's making the reader feel all the emotion of the scene. Cooke can do this without a single caption or word balloon. Cooke is a master, but Kirby is a pioneer, a maveric and a legend because of his ability.

And let's not forget his monsters...


















Killer androids...

And of course, robots, robots, ROBOTS!

Well, that pretty much wraps things up this time around. See you around the funny books...

Better Late Than Never

Over a year ago, at the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund auction at the spring Motor City Comicon, Nik bought this original Matt Feazell sketch of comic bookdom's first family, the Fantastic Four. Nik knows what a fan I am of Matt and his work, the guy's a true pioneer in the field of independant comics. If you're ever in my house, you'll see examples of Matt's genius almost everywhere. I can't go on enough about the guy. The Inkslinger shares my "hero worship" as well.

Anyway, about the picture. I'd meant to post it after Nik gave it to me, but as John Lennon once said: Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. So, here it is, over a year later and I'm finally getting around to posting the Human Torch, the Invisible Girl, Mister Fantastic and the ever-lovin', blue-eyed Thing. Even my kids like this one.