Dollar Store Cinema

It's a little known fact that so-called dollar stores are a great place to scout out cheap movies on DVD. We have about a half dozen such stores in my little hometown here and, every chance I get, I scour them for DVDs. My philososphy is simple: if you pay a buck for a movie and it turns out to be crap, you're only out a buck.

In the past, I've managed to find quite a few good movies this way, Kansas City Confidential, Deep Red and Legend of the Eight Samurai are among the good ones. Horrors of Spider Island, however, wasn't. It was, though, worth watching for its pure absurdity and it gave me the idea for a (hopefully) regular segment. I'm calling it "Dollar Store Cinema" and it will feature movies I've found that are so bad I couldn't look away.

A team of girls find themselves caught in a deadly web when they are shipwrecked on a remote South Seas island. The lush, tropical isle seems an ideal place to await their rescue, but hidden in the jungle are giant poisonous spiders. A venomous bite transforms the girls' escort into a disfigured beast, half-man and half-insect. Consumed with lust and craving blood, the monster hunts down the defenseless girls and slaughters them one by one.

At least that's what the box says. What you get are cat fights, cheap special effects, horny broads and bad acting. It's just THAT good. I've actually watched it about a half dozen times and what cracks me up most is, through all the horror going on around them, all these girls want to do is party. Keep in mind this movie was made in the early sixties and when it hit the American shores, it was probably nothing short of shocking for its brazen sexual content, which by today's standards falls short of a Disney movie. I highly recommend this movie on that merit alone.
Next time...Bloody Pit of Horror!

The Lost Lore of American Life

My dad sent this to me today and ordinarily I don't even open "forewards," but he usually sends me some good ones. I thought I'd share it with you. I don't know who wrote it, but they were dead on when they did:

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE 1930's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's !!
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.
Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking .
As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.
Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.
We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms. WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents .
We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.
We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays,
made up games with sticks and tennis balls and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them!
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!
The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!
And YOU are one of them!
CONGRATULATIONS!
You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives for our own good.
and while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were.
Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!

I sent him back this email:

"Kill all the lawyers." --Shakespeare, Henry VI

If I've offended anyone, sue me. It's what we do.

Along Came A Spider...

Project updates this time 'round!

First, a bit of shocking news. Apparently Joe "Madskills" Fuentes had a bit of a setback when his computer crashed, taking with it all the color work he's done for Pickle Press. That includes all 32 pages of Three Keys #2 as well as work on a number of other Pickle Press books. But, he's assured Nik he's working night and day to get caught up. Per angusta ad augusta, I always say. Loosely translated: No pressure no diamonds.
My work on the fist issue of Salem, AZ stalled out for a bit, but I'm back in the swing of things with only about eight more pages to pencil. Bill "Inkinator" Wilkison assured me in an email that his ink work on it is going swimingly. I believe his words were: Who said anything about a dry spell, bitch? I'm rolling in it! You gotta know the guy, I guess.

Below are two panels from page thirty. Awhile back I did this picture of Kerry Connelly and when Nicole McClain saw it, she announced she was afraid of spiders. That little bit of personal information from the big bad deer hunter made drawing page thirty particularly fun for me.

Nik has agreed to letter what is going to be an ashcan version of Up Jumped the Devil in trade for a Lady Blackhawk painting. You gotta know the guy, I guess. More on that later.

Well, that pretty much wraps things up this time 'round.